Dear Student,

Thank you for your email notifying me that your assigned advisor is sick. You are correct, he is sick. According to the rest of your email you say “I cannot register.” This is also correct. What a bummer.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear student,

You know that “100 credits” you say you have? You may have taken them but unless you have them transferred they do NOT count. Of course, they may just be invisible credits where we just read your mind and give them to you anyway. As long as we’re handing out credits, we might as well just hand out your degree. 

Sincerely,

Me