Dear Student,

Thank you for contacting me today with your plans for graduation. I am happy to say that it is possible to take 20 credits in the summer. However, the schedule you have put together are of all classes that have never been offered in the summer. But since you HAVE to graduate RIGHT NOW I’m sure we can offer those classes just for you. Or just feel free to take any 20 credits and I’m sure we will just apply them to your degree and assume you have the content knowledge. 

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Student,

Thank you for your email notifying me that your assigned advisor is sick. You are correct, he is sick. According to the rest of your email you say “I cannot register.” This is also correct. What a bummer.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear student,

You know that “100 credits” you say you have? You may have taken them but unless you have them transferred they do NOT count. Of course, they may just be invisible credits where we just read your mind and give them to you anyway. As long as we’re handing out credits, we might as well just hand out your degree. 

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Student,

I love your perception that prefixes to courses do not matter. Of course BESC 3100 and PSY 3100 and SOC 3100 are all the exact same class. The prefix has no bearing on the content, or subject matter, and it is truly only the course number that matters. In that case, please feel free to also look at MATH 3100, ENGL 3100, PHIL 3100 or any other subjects that offer a 3100 course since they would all count to fulfill the exact same requirements.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Student,

Thank you for coming in and meeting with me multiple times and sending multiple emails. Your email this morning was especially uplifting as I realized all the time I have spent with you previously was a complete waste, as you had to ask, yet again, for the same list of classes I’ve been giving you all along. Thank you for paying such close attention to the advice I have given you and making my time spent with you instead of other students so worthwhile.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Student,

Thank you for your multiple emails this morning. I am sad to admit that despite the fact that you emailed me more than 10 times today, 83 credits is still less than 90 credits – thus, you still can’t register with the 90 credit priority registration. I know that having sent me multiple emails that should change the number of credits you have. I wish I could get you a credit for every email you sent. Unfortunately you actually have to take, AND PASS, classes in order to get credit for them. Better luck next semester.

Sincerely,

Me