Monday, August 29, 2011

Dear Student,
Thank you for visiting me on the first day of classes. And congratulations on your decision to change life directions. I am happy for you that you quit the job that was making you miserable and am glad that you want to go back to school. And the first day of class is just that day to make that decision. Never mind that you have not applied, been accepted, posted test scores or any number of things you have to do to return to school. You should just show up to classes.

I know the classes are all full, and I know how surprising that is, but for you we should just make an exception. Procrastination is always key, especially when it comes to your education.

Sincerely,
Me

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dear Student,
Thank you for contacting me yesterday and today. Twice. I agree that your transcripts should have arrived and been evaluated between 5 pm yesterday and 7:30 am this morning. We have elves that work around the clock to evaluate those transcripts because we know it's our fault, not yours, for starting this process so late.

I agree that I should let you register anyway. However, if I do, I am pretty sure my Dean will revoke my privileges and banish me to the outer annex.

I hope you have better luck.

Sincerely,
Me