Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dear student,

Thank you for your call this morning. Classes started two weeks ago. Yes, you are too late. No, there is nothing I can do for you. And yes, that makes me heartless.

See you next semester.

Sincerely,
Me
Dear Student,

Thank you for your phone call today. I know that you are completely outraged by the fact that we are not giving you credit for a class you are transferring here. I understand that outrage. Especially because the reason we are not giving you credit is that you have not yet given us the opportunity to evaluate that transfer credit. 

I know you turned in your transcripts on Friday and at the very least we should have been able to evaluate the credit and input it into the system in less than 1 working day. But I also recognize that you HAVE to be the ONLY one turning in transcripts right now. And we also had the weekend. It seems perfectly reasonable that you want to call and argue with me about not getting credit. 

It is also perfectly reasonable that the reason you want to argue with me is because you are worried about missing the graduation application deadline. Of course I've NEVER told you to have your transcripts sent here and I NEVER told you to do it before last semester. I like that you're in a pinch and it has nothing to do with your own procrastination. I take full responsibility. 

I have called the transfer office and they have put your transcripts at the front of the line so it should be evaluated by the end of today. After all, 24 hours is a reasonable request. And, of course, YOU are special. 

Sincerely,
Me

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dear Students,
Thank you for your glowing ratings on my Student Ratings of Instructor. I love the fact that you appreciated all of the coursework I carefully planned for your education. "Busywork" was indeed what I was striving for in this class because I have nothing better to do than grade busywork. "Too much busywork, not enough actual learning" is definitely MY responsibility. I didn't actually give you assignments that were supposed to help you LEARN. 

I appreciate that, as you said: "I pay my tuition and I want my teachers to also work for there money" [sic]. I appreciate that you pointed out that I was obviously not working hard enough to give you the detailed feedback I provided. Had you merely wanted your assignments back with nothing but a grade I could have done that within minutes. 

I am sorry that you did not understand my humor when I'm SURE I was JOKING about the death in your family. While I don't remember you actually talking to me about your situation, I have never been one to work with a student who was dealing with issues like that. I enjoy being rude to students, as I am sure I was to you on this occasion. 

Also, I am sure I was rude to you about your assignments. Expecting you to turn them in ON TIME, especially when I gave you an extension, was definitely asking too much.

Thank you again students, for all of your work this past semester. It has never been such a pleasure to teach this class. 


Sincerely,
Me

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Dear student,

Thank you for your email regarding your situation. I understand that you want to add a class and the class is full. I appreciate that you understand that the only way to add a class is through an add card signed by the instructor. 

I think adding this class is a great idea, especially considering you situation. The class meets during your work hours, which is why you cannot come to class to get the add card signed. While this might pose a problem for some students I admire the fact that you are not letting something simple like this scheduling conflict get in the way of you wanting to add the class. However, like attending the class, I will have to tell you that you will have to figure out how to be in two places at once in order to get your add card signed. 

Good luck.


Sincerely,
Me